Don't apologise. It's actually a much easier mindset, once you just come to terms with it.
[Who wants to spend their whole life buying into a fantasy they know will never come true? Perhaps that uphill struggle appeals to some people, but Komaeda is not one of them. He spent a long time trying to be like someone with worth -- and even though he was clearly intelligent enough to grasp the concepts, something always felt off. No matter how hard he tried. Something felt off. And because he wasn't a fan of exercises in futility, he simply stopped trying.]
[It's so much easier to accept yourself when you don't set your standards so high, Anna; you should try it sometime.]
I'd much rather accept my status as garbage than try constantly to be more than I am, and watch myself fail every time. But even then, I try to help others become better. Watching other people succeed gives me hope, you see, and even a wretched entity like myself desperately wants hope.
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Date: 2014-10-23 04:00 am (UTC)[Who wants to spend their whole life buying into a fantasy they know will never come true? Perhaps that uphill struggle appeals to some people, but Komaeda is not one of them. He spent a long time trying to be like someone with worth -- and even though he was clearly intelligent enough to grasp the concepts, something always felt off. No matter how hard he tried. Something felt off. And because he wasn't a fan of exercises in futility, he simply stopped trying.]
[It's so much easier to accept yourself when you don't set your standards so high, Anna; you should try it sometime.]
I'd much rather accept my status as garbage than try constantly to be more than I am, and watch myself fail every time. But even then, I try to help others become better. Watching other people succeed gives me hope, you see, and even a wretched entity like myself desperately wants hope.